Family reunions are the best form of torture. Next time we catch a terrorist we should forget about waterboarding and making them go without food. We should just send them to a family reunion. It is amazing how few of people you actually know at a family reunion. I basically only know they people I arrive with. Then I am stuck with a  bunch of unfamiliar people at a distant relative’s home. I never know whose house I am actually at. The reunion always takes place is someone’s backyard on the hottest day in July. Everyone is sweating to death and pretending to know one another. I hate doing all that mingling and sweating. I usually hide the entire reunion. A good place to hide is in the house. Nobody feels comfortable walking through a stranger’s house. The people who live there are entertaining, so they aren’t in there either. That is why I feel gutsy enough to walk around in someone else’s home. I always pretend I have to use the bathroom or grab more chairs. Basically what I am doing is looking for air conditioning. I find a secluded, air conditioned, and temperature controlled room to sit down in. then I hide in the cooling intensive room for as long as I can. Nobody usually notices I am gone. I kill a few hours in A/C comfort and then I wander back outside. I then find my actual family and we leave the reunion. It is one torturous, awkward and sweaty day. Anyone would give up information to get out of that torture.

A/C equipment 

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